This weekend marks the official 90th birthday of Queen Elizabeth II.

Now, I am not a natural royalist – neither by instinct, nor upbringing. I think I might even have been on the wrong side in the English Civil War. One can see the superficial charm of the cavaliers, their luscious locks, romantic verses, and all, but I suspect it would be rather tedious to share a house with them. Drinking and carousing, late into the night, not to mention all that long hair, clogging up the plug hole. Nope, the warts and all of Cromwell would be far more simpatico; short hair, and plain dark clothes – nothing to worry about there, it’s practically Audrey Hepburn. I’d even give up the theatre, so long as Cromwell let me keep Radio 4….

Anyhow, as I was saying, I am not a dyed in the wool royalist, but as my favourite figure from history is and has always been Elizabeth I, and the English royal family has always been so wrapped up in textiles – from royal wedding dresses to bunting, chiefly bunting – why then, it would be churlish not to down scruples, and jump aboard the bandwagon, aka golden coach. Besides, it gave me the opportunity for a killer pun in the title, that no one, apart from myself, has yet had the good sense, or humour, to appreciate.

Having studied the correct form of the Loyal Toast, I shall not give you the Queen, she is not mine to give. Instead, pray silence for: “The Queen.”

…and the dogs too, of course – though they are inexplicably missing from the second Loyal Toast, as outlined in Debrett’s. Perhaps that is why it is so seldom given.

I do love these photos, particularly the early ones, unhelpfully black and white as they are. But I needed the colour, so it was the bottom one for me.

Off I went, stopping to gather all the commemorative china I could find en route, and some bunting, obviously bunting.

And there were quite a few mugs and cups, it turned out. I stopped counting at 8. Not a natural royalist? The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

It was tricksy choosing a background for this one. Because it was just for fun, and to up the ante, I had chosen a Liberty print for the corgi’s coat too (I normally keep the dogs plain). There’s a beautiful print based on rotating cups that would have been a perfect background, had it been the right colour. I toyed with a few red, white and blue patterns (there’s one in the picture above), but it was getting a bit twee, so I went for a classic Liberty Morris print instead. And as an unexpected bonus, have ended with with a strawberry thieving bird perched on the corgi’s back.

Bliss.Sweet – but not quite royal enough….There you go.

Pray silence for … The Queen’s Corgi.

If you would like a bespoke portrait of your own pet have a look at the commissions page.